This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
