I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
