I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
