SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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