SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
