her vagine was all disorganized.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
