real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize