we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
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