think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
