That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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