Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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