She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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