he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
