You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize