he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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