I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
