mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
