I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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