I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
