Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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