I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
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