Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
