He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
