she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I think i peed on brittanys purse
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize