we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Randomize
