She's JV to your varsity
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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