i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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