I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize