well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
