It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
