he shaved USA in his pubs
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
