Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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