I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
