you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize