what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
