Is it because I queefed?
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
