My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
