I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
me + whiskey = a bad person
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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