Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
