the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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