i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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