Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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