vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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