dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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