Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
