I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
