So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
