Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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