he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
