I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize