This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Randomize
