420 ftw
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
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