I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
