I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
