We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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