It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
