I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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