He asked to "fluff my boner.."
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
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