Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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