Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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