AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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