To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
