ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
