you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Alive.
So much puke
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
