I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
