We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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