I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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