Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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