So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
