So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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