Three words: puerto rican gang bang
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
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