Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
