My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
