As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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