so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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