Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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